Evil bike boys

So by my experiences I have formed a new opinion on men. Basically, any guy that hasn't ever/doesn't ride bikes is fair game. I don't mean, "Oh let's go ride bikes!" I mean, "I'm so badass, I jump things and ride down hills really fast."

By my experiences I have learned they are jackasses.

Probably because they are, in fact, doing something very dangerous, and have tons of scars, and go to the emergency room at least once every three months...which by definition does make them an badass... However their badass behavior spills over into disrespect for people. (Like, ahem, me...)

Case #1 - Girl likes guy, guy doesn't really like girl, but likes the fact that girl likes guy and continues to emotionally abuse her for almost two years. (This of course is girls fault too, but all girls know that at some point they have in their life a true asshole that for some reason they just can't shake.)

Case #2 - Girl thinks she has found nice, mature, older guy. Thinks that he has his head on straight because he has a full-time job, he's successful. First date she finds out he rides bikes. Fast. On mountain side. Should have been a warning sign, but noooooo. And you guessed it ladies and gentleman, he's an asshole.

Case #3 - Girl has always had a weird crush on guy (that, goes without saying, rides bikes) but he is taken and has a really nice, sweet, girlfriend. Guy suddenly starts professing really weird feelings to Girl, while he, in fact, still has a really nice, sweet, girlfriend. From the girlfriend's point of view, he's an asshole.

Three times, three guys, three bikes.

Lesson learned. (Hopefully)

So what are you going to ask the next guy that asks you out? That's right...

"So, do you ride bikes?"