visit to LU

Get ready for a ramble. so went to Lander today. At first i was kind of freaked out just because it is so so soooo very different from Clemson.

I'm used a huge spread of buildings, being able to blend in to a group of thousands if I want, only being social if I want to. Used to 3 a.m. library socializing, 1 a.m. solitary walks giving space to some kid skateboarding - practicing when no one will see him fall, a ride to anywhere just by waiting at the right place...

but then i made a list of pros and cons...Sarah made me actually. And i realized there are so many pros. I took out my emotional attachment, my bad-breakup feelings with Clemson and looked at Lander for itself. The two are incomparable, as Sarah kept saying over and over.

And so while i'm still afraid to get my hopes up that this might actually work out for me (after so many things haven't the past year or so), I am truly happy that i actually have a plan - a set list of things that I can do to make this happen for me. I'm so excited, so nervous, so slightly scared, so curious of what this new place - completely foreign might hold for me.

Now most people might look at the school, the town and scoff at the idea that this is "completely foreign". But it is new to me. I have no attachments here, no baggage, no icky memories. And it's so so so new. I was worried that I would be actually digressing from Clemson in the sense that I like diversity...but Lander actually has a higher ration of diversity as far as minorities, foreign students, etc... and just that in itself, it telling me that I'm actually going to get more exposure to people from different places than I was getting at clemson. Maybe not out of state, but just people from different walks of life, and also from different countries. Most of the soccer team and (when sarah was there) the tennis team is entirely compiled of foreign students. I'm actually really excited.

Also, just from what I've experienced so far I can already see that I'm going to get so much more attention here. From my professors, from administration, from everyone. Another good point someone made was that so many schools become "corporate", a business...but Lander is still there for one thing - the students, and today that showed.

yes I'm quite energized. So energized I'm actually planning to be social tonight (I also feel like wearing a fun outfit and showing off my craxy hair :-) ) instead of thinking up some lame excuse to sit in my pj's eating whatever I can find and watching mindless tv or some crappy movie, or just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Yes, today was an excellent step forward. I have a plan, and I am declaring this as a movement to retake my life.

(Bobby would say I'm being dramatic...Bobby you would be correct tehe)