Accepting the Decisions

Biggest struggle = accepting your decisions and moving forward with them.

School starts in one month and I have to accept the fact that I will not be going back. That when all of my friends are in one place together, I will not be there. Its a decision I made on my own. Yes there were circumstantial influences, but ultimately, if I had made the effort to go back to school, with the help of my family (who are supporting my decisions as I make them) I would have eventually gotten the necessary things done to go back to school. But I didn't.

Of course this is all spawned by the fact that I now wish I was going back. It makes me sick to realize that in one month while that campus is teeming with fresh starts and reunions and pointless drama and stress and sleepless nights, I will be doing exactly what I'm doing right now as I write this: Sitting in my cubicle.

Maybe I'm being whiney. Actually I know I am. I try not to be. I hate reading those blogs that are the same thing over and over again: bitch and moan, bitch and moan, especially when they have nothing to bitch and moan about.

So I guess I have a new goal = make it through the fall without getting depressed. And staying away from that campus, because I'm pretty sure going near it will just make everything worse.

...I guess I'll have to find a different place to celebrate my 21st b.day...because I AM NOT going downtown to celebrate with back-to-school party goers.