An oh-so Normal Rant.

I don't like blogging about things that actually matter. World peace matters. Love matters. Fashion matters (and don't say it doesn't, because you know you sat for a split-second and contemplated how a shirt would look on you before you bought it...yea, you.). Random pictures matter. It all matters...but not in the way that other things matter. Like, your mother dying, or your sister's unborn baby dying, or your lack-of-health-insurance- and-being-continuously-rejected- because-underwriters-think- Reynauld's-Syndrome-is- a- disease- even- though- they- have- no- medical- expertise- whatsoever.

I'm pretty sure Sarah gets mad at me for not blogging about things that really matter...especially when I don't talk about things that matter in real life either. It's not like I've forgotten, sometimes I just like to pretend.

I like to pretend that this is normal. That me having to fight back tears 50% of my day because I'm suddenly realizing how much I miss my mother is normal. That shitty things continually happening to my family members over and over and over again is normal. That being a 20 year old who was on the verge of nervous breakdown and had to leave school is normal. That being sure that I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone because my family and myself are too fucked up for someone just to show up in the mix is normal. That sometimes wishing on the way to work a mack truck would lose a tire and crush my car so I could see Mama again is normal (granted, the normality of that scenario has lessened, and I now recognize that I want that to happen less and less, because my family can't take another funeral).

And like any "normal" member of my family I decided to look up the various definitions of normal. Here are a few, accompanied by my thoughts in application to me, my family, and situations in general:

Normal adj.

1. conforming to the standard or the common type; regular; natural. 2. serving to establish a standard. (By definition 1, not normal, but definition 2, we set our own standard, so yea, I guess we are normal?)

(Psychology) 3. free from any mental disorder; sane. (Hahahahahahaha!)

(Biology, Medicine/Medical.) 4. free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation. (Considering our mother had one of the most rare forms of breast cancer you can have and there's a 1 in 3 chance one of us will get it, by definition 4, no - not normal.)

(Mathmatics) 5. being at right angles, as a line; perpendicular (I don't do math. Duh.)


So there we have it. Not normal unless you look at definition #2, in which case, we, our situation, and the shittiness that seems to be raining down on us is as normal as can possibly be. Whew...and I was beginning to think that something was all wrong....